I'm not huge into celebrating New Year's Eve or New Year's
Day, probably because I'm an introvert and get exhausted after Christmas. I do,
however, love new year's resolutions. People make fun of them all the time
because many of them, if not most of them, don't even last until February.
Personally, I think it's great for people to have the desire to improve in some
ways and make goals, even if they have a hard time reaching them. It's better
than remaining stagnant, isn't it?
I thought I'd share a goal of mine for 2017. It's plain and
simple. I want to have a little more empathy.
So, I'm trying really *really* hard not to become a broken
record or to make this blog soap-boxy or preachy. But this has really been weighing
on my mind recently, especially in light of the way 2016 ended. I'm not trying
to deliver a sermon here, I'm just doing my best to offer a different
perspective.
A lot of things happened near the close of 2016. Donald
Trump's victory was the most prominent, of course. There were also several
celebrity deaths, a lot of partisan fighting, plenty of heated discussions on
social media regarding the election and dozens of other controversial subjects,
and many bemoaning 2016 as the "Worst year ever." Needless to say,
things got heavy.
To me, the hardest part to watch was not necessarily these
things mentioned above, but seeing the public reaction to these things. People
who were genuinely afraid because of the election results were told to
"stop fear mongering," "suck it up," and "get over
it." Those who were saddened by celebrity deaths were told that they
should get over themselves because they didn't know those people personally. People
were subjected to harsh insults for having an opinion. Individuals who
struggled under the weight of 2016 were told to "stop complaining."
Seeing a pattern here? Where is the empathy and
understanding? Why are we so keen on telling people how they should feel?
It's so tempting to get defensive (or even offensive) with
people who express certain opinions, concerns, or feelings that we happen to
think are ridiculous. It's so tempting to tell them how they should feel. But
does that really accomplish anything?
Obligatory personal anecdote: being on the receiving end of
this kind of attitude is painful. When I expressed genuine fear due to the
election results, it was painful to be told that my fear was invalid. It didn't
help me relax, it only upset me. I think everyone would be happier if we
respond first with empathy, rather than telling people their emotions are
invalid.
A common misconception about having empathy is that you have to know exactly what others are experiencing. Having empathy doesn't necessarily mean that you've
experienced what they are experiencing, neither does it mean telling people
that you know exactly how they feel. You don't even have to agree with the way they choose to emotionally react. Having empathy is about actively
trying to understand the feelings and experiences of others. Instead of passing
judgment or devaluing emotions, maybe we can try asking people how they came to
feel that way. We can try seeing things from their perspective and feeling with
them. Withholding judgment and seeking for greater understanding will foster
deeper and healthier connections with others, and will make for more meaningful
conversation and stronger relationships. And, in my opinion, it will make us
better people.
We should seek to build, not to tear down. It's what the
Savior would have us do.
"A new commandment I
give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye
also love one another." John 13:34
Happy 2017 everyone! Let's make it better with a little more empathy. :)
